Myth of Sisphyus - Albert Camus

I started this book completely clueless about what I was in for. Had not really read Camus beyond a few essays/articles written about his work; way back in college. So it was quite the surprise when I sat down to read a retelling of the myth and I got an immersive lesson in all that is life and one that exists only in our heads.

This blog is highly personal (not that the others were anything else). I usually don't put these thoughts beyond my own self - but this book and its provocations warranted it.

The premise is simple, how do you figure out your meaning of life. If you were to go through every possible philosophy, reason and religion; will you get the answer that works for you? If you arrive at the point where you believe there is no meaning to life, do you move on continuing to trick yourself to believing there is (like you have always done), commit suicide or live a full life knowing full well it is all for nothing. Fun, right! This book was actually good for me. The pandemic, doomsday around the corner prophecies, people going mad with worry & anxiety, etc - Camus ended up making me feel better.

FYI - It is a dense read. Being willingly and unwillingly immersed in J.Krishnamurti's mind-shaping works, having lived with many nihilists and having done oodles of research on Husserl and Phenomenology gave me some anchors as I read.

Just going to share what stood out and/or what I wrote down as I read the book:

'Beginning to think is beginning to be undermined' - imagine reading this as a supremely supreme over-thinker that is me. Phew, great start.

'The divorce between woman and life is properly the felling of Absurdity' (the word Camus uses for trying to find a certainty in the meaning of life, and, well, not finding it).

'People have pretended to believe that refusing to grant a meaning to life necessarily leads to declaring that it is not worth living'. He is saying (and most eloquently) does the absurd dictate death? Just because you cannot figure out a purpose or meaning doesn't mean you should die? Can you live with it is maybe the question.

Seems like we start with asking - what is the meaning of life and then weariness sets in we either give up and go back to our delusions or we wake up - then there are two options, suicide or recovery! What I need to do for recovery is my current quest. Useful it feels.

'As soon as thought reflects on itself, there is contradiction. Very simplicity of these paradoxes make them irreducible'. Easy to understand, hard to do - story of life.

'In psychology, as in logic, there are truths but no truth'. Logic - one of the fun things of the patriarchal world, there is only one logic, theirs. And if you don't get it, well, then, you crazy.

'To will is to stir up paradoxes'. Is this why I hate to will? Especially when I am dealing with someone else's will. I have always liked this about me, I hate and hesitate to push. But it's seen as a weakness, the uncertainty and tentativeness doesn't come from anything else but the boundary of not imposing my will. Of course I was a tyrant when I was younger - judgmental, sure and certain of right and wrong. Now it is a blur and I like it this way. Why does it matter to me or anyone whether someone is right or wrong - unless it directly (in the strictest sense of the word) impacts my life?

'What is absurd is the confrontation of this irrationality and the wild longing for clarity whose call echoes in the human heart'? This springs from comparison between fact and a certain reality. It is not in either element but in the confrontation and the unceasing struggle. It is continual rejection (not renunciation), it is the absence of hope (not in despair) and it is conscious dissatisfaction (not immature restlessness). All the ones in the brackets suggest escape'.

He calls the longing for clarity, human nostalgia. We crave that clarity, it's been promised to us by everyone one who is someone in the religious and/or philosophical community. We need it, I need it. Whatever you want to label 'it' as - peace of mind, nirvana, meaning of life, purpose etc. It is an endless search, because it is not possible.

Camus chooses a few philosophies and a few larger than life characters (Don Juan for one) to elaborate and juxtapose his thinking. In oder of appearance:

• Jaspers - 'Transcendence is to go beyond the limits, failure of this confirms the existence of transcendence rather than its absence'.

• Chestov - 'God doesn't correctly respond to any of our rational categories, his proof is in his inhumanity'. Reason is useless, this is something beyond reason.

• Camus - Absurd - reason is useless, there is nothing beyond reason'.

• Shakespeare - Hamlet, 'the time is out of joint'.

Affirmation of God is not the issue, the logic that leads to that affirmation is the challenge.

• Husserl & Phenomenology (description of the experience) - in the present transcendency is eliminated - it is not of consequence. Husserl talks about an abstract God - material, object of logic, science and abstract is a part of it.

In truth the way matters but little, the will to arrive suffices. - mike drop. This is not news but the way he writes is what hits. Now connect it to the quote before, 'To will is to stir up paradoxes' - now maybe mike drop? He also says, 'There is no mystery in human creation - its repatative, the same one thing - Will performs this miracle'.

• Existential - 'reason becomes confused and escapes by negating itself. Absurd - lucid reason notes its limits'. Can you hold on to logic and reason till the end or does the Absurd take over?

• 'La Pallise relishes in absolute truth while Don Quixote in the ideal'.

• This is a doozy, it decimates both my anchors - 'religion suppresses and awareness escapes it - how do you keep the absurd alive? By contemplating on it, insist upon absolute transparency and let it be a permanent revolution in you'. I had to stop and wait to catch my breath. To validate or invalidate is the first instinct. But that's not the point, to be in a state of disbelief/discomfort/quest is the point.

• 'The paradox - we as humans are free and responsible therefore God is not powerful? OR we as humans are not free therefore God is responsible for all evil? Death and the absurd is the only answer to reasonable freedom'. 'Live without appeal - not the best living but the most living'.

• 'Vedanta - philosophy of indifference alludes to the same thing - you are choosing against the world.'

The absurd woman doesn't believe in the profound meaning of thought. 'Not striving to be better but to be consistent'. It is courage to live without appeal and reasoning to get along with what she has. Multiple lives in one or one life till eternity - moving through with courage and reason. What a path to be on.

I love books that shake my core. It means I can build a new core. I strive to be consistent not better because as Camus concludes, becoming better or changing our conditions are the figment of a writer's imagination. And I seem to agree.