Liberation of Sita (Vimukta) - Volga. Translated from Telugu by T. Vijay Kumar and C. Vijayashree

'Sita is so meek, timid and full of sorrow'. 'Do not ever name your child Sita, you will invite all sorts of unhappy fate onto her' - pretty much the narrative I grew up with. She invited sympathy from all and from me, quite a bit of, 'why did she never push back', 'what was this ideal wife trip she was on? And many more such judgy, mildly ignorant questions.

Last year I listened to the Divakaruni retelling of the Ramayana ('The forest of enchantment'), from Sita's perspective (the best word ever in any language). It was a good story - started with Valmiki giving her the space and the push needed to write her side of the epic. And delved into her life which was - the love for Rama, the role of a dutiful daughter and daughter-in-law, the relationships she nurtures and her as a thinking, evolving individual who navigates a life of not her choosing; until she steps up and takes a hold of it. Before you jump down my throat, here is an example of what I mean by Sita having no choice - she chose Rama but not the Swayamwara or even who would be part of that Swayamwara. Reminds me of something I had read a long while ago, don't know who wrote it but it goes, 'is it easy to know what you want when you can't have everything you want? Won't what you can't have limit your understanding of what you really want?'

Sita is not so different than me and how I have handled my life. Isn't this what I have been doing? Evolving, working through so-called choices and freedom to completely strip myself of everyone's will but my own? I still am not free. She was me and I her. Evolving, making decisions (the world sees these decisions as ours but we knew who we were trying to please/seek approval from) and eventually taking charge of our lives without the world realising it. Sometimes it takes most of a lifetime to get to yourself, so, don’t believe people when they tell you that it’s not done the way you did it. What do they know.

Vimukta was a wonderful read and a perfect next step to where I was at in my understanding Of Sita. Volga (a 70+ year old brilliantly active Telugu feminist) doesn't give room for anything but the inner-growth of Sita and key women in the Ramayana, who help her understand herself and make choices from a place of complete self awareness - Shurpanaka, Urmila, Renuka and Ahalya. Sita meets each one of them as ‘the deeply in love and devoted wife of Rama’ and a second time as ‘the abandoned wife of Rama’. They share with Sita how they worked through the unfairness and anger of situations (not of their choice) that destroyed their lives and eventually found their peace, not from the outside but from within. And each one's story helps Sita walk away, liberated in the truest sense.

It is a short and fantastic read. Do not miss the author notes and interview - light is shed on the reasons that retelling of myths came into being (they started in the late 19th century) and how Volga really didn't want to make it about the world's patriarchy but about movement and growth of each woman who was subjected to a misogynistic existence.

I cannot help but share Urmila's insight, something I strongly resonated with, 'power is the root cause of all sorrow. Strange thing is we must acquire this power and then give it up.I shall not submit to anyone's power. Nor will I bind anyone with my power. Then I will feel I have liberated myself. It's a pity how people get bogged down by structures of power. Unable to see how they can liberate themselves, they rot in unrest, sorrow and hatred'

She closes with a lovely chapter on Rama and his conditioning that led him to choose state over wife. She talks about how he needed to spread the message of Arya Dharma as part of his duties and how from a very young age ties shifted from family to state for him. I guess the strength of breaking through that is not for everyone, though Harry seems to be showing quite the gumption.

Good book. Sita is my kind of woman. Who knew.